Mother Of All Fears

Ever been so scared you feel your heart nearly beat out of your chest and the hair on your back stand up? So scared,  you suddenly experience flashes of the worst possible outcomes and your stomach feels as if it's about to hit the floor? I noticed once you become a parent, fear goes hand in hand with everything else that comes in the rearing children package. I remember in my pre-children days I always thought of myself to be a pretty carefree person. When I was in college I would walk home late at night, through New Brunswick, and my friends would say "aren't you scared??" I would shrug and say "Why should I be scared when I can scream if i need to?" (Looking back, I realize I was quite foolish and pray my daughter doesn't do the same thing) Now as a parent I'm the complete opposite. I've suddenly become one of those parent worry-ers, that always fears the worst. As a parent nothing sends your fear barometer through the roof like the fear that something can happen to your kids. Well we had an experience like that the other night.

It was about 1am in the morning and Joe went to the bathroom. He noticed the dogs were barking in the area. You see, everyone by where we live, has a dog. It's for security and every house has a "Beware of Dog" sign on it. No fancy ATD security systems here, get a dog and the job is done. Supposedly it's a very effective way to ward off bad guys according to some statistics. Dogs are just way too loud, so it isn't worth the risk for them. We've thought of getting a dog but I've heard so many stories of young boys torturing dogs and not knowing how to treat it humanely. I picture my son doing that exact thing and I want to spare the poor dog of such a fate. Also, a dog at this point is another mouth to feed. In Hawaii food is expensive enough as it is and feeding our daughter, who has a monstrous appetite, healthy nutritious food, is challenge enough. Anywho, what was I saying? O yea, we have no dog.

So the dogs were going crazy and my husband thought he heard rusting sounds outside, like someone was leaning up against our house. He went down the hall, to the laundry room, and turned on the car port light and at that moment he thought he heard someone curse from outside and run away. He immediately called 9-1-1. My husband brought the kids into our room while he stood guard in the hallway. The cops came eventually and brought flashlights and searched the perimeters. By this point the dogs in the neighborhood were barking their heads off. I was pretty much sound asleep while this whole thing was going down, until I heard the dogs. I woke up, and Joe told me what happened. Let me tell you, I was SCARED! I've heard stories from people in Hawaii whose houses got broken into, and most of them say that before the burglars actually did the deed, they watched the house. The culprits would watch to see when the residents would leave for work and wait till they knew the house would be empty. So my family and I had been in NJ for 3 weeks before this incident took place. I couldn't help but think, were people watching our house and noticed that no one was home the past few weeks and picked today to break in, only to see that we have come back from vacation??

It was a scary night, the dogs barking like crazy, the cops flashing their lights into our windows, like a scene from ET, here I was holding my son, hoping that no matter what, my kids would be safe. The cops didn't find anything and left. The next day Joe got in touch with some people and we put some security measures in place. We are all happy safe and sound but that incident was really scary especially because we have kids. Looking back I totally see why my parents, and every other parent I ever knew, were always worried for their kids. I notice this parenting journey is discovering the other side of the curtain. Before kids you saw the world one way, from one perspective, with kids you see the world differently. In seeing the world through that lens I maybe see a potential dog in our future...

On another note, its been kinda cold in Hawaii. Well "cold" for Hawaii that is. We've been going to the beach to play in the sand and not be in the water. We went to this beach by the shrimp trucks after we got back from NJ and I practically kissed the sand...

 

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