Ode to Finn

Last night I heard the shocking news. THat Cory Monteith was found dead at a hotel in Vancouver. My husband mentioned it in passing.

"Hey that 'Glee' guy died." I stopped in my tracks in shock.

"Who?? What!?!?" I race to his laptop to see a picture of Cory Monteith. I thought it must surely be an internet hoax or something. Let me look at a reputable website... like the New York Times... Lo and behold it was all true.

I'm still processing it all. Oddly enough, as his goofy awkward adorable character on Glee would sing "Don't Stop Believing"... I can't believe it.

I got into Glee starting season 2. After tasting the goodness of the 1st episode I was hungry for more. I watched all of season 1 and becoming a faithful Gleek anticipated every episode of season 2 with bated breath. I loved the music, I loved each of the characters, and I loved Finn Hudson. He was what I wished the popular football jocks were like when I was in high school. I wished that any high school boy I knew had the moral compass, sensitivity, talent all wrapped in the approachable goofy awkwardness he had. I loved the music. I grew up loving musicals. I grew up watching Sound of Music, My Fair Lady, Singing in the Rain, and anything Barbara Streisand. I always wondered when we would see music come back to television. In Glee, music made its grand entrance to TV and pop culture. I loved having my son watch the show with me at times and sing with me. "Last Christmas" (I know the irony keeps coming) was his favorite song. My son would stand on the coffee table and shake his hands in uncontainable joy. Though some people would criticize his singing, I loved his voice and felt he captured with every song.

But the thing that makes the whole thing even more sad for me was this interview with Ellen. I remember watching this a couple years ago and I often think about this interview. My 30's was just around the corner, my son was about a year old and I was going through a 1/3 life crisis I guess. I loved being a mom but knew it would be hard to start anything new, while growing a family. In this interview he talks about working at Walmart as a greeter and meeting someone that had been a greeter at Walmart for 15 years and wondering... "Is this what I want to do with my life?" I don't know but that truly resonated with me. Seeing this guy who was my age, finally finding what he wants to do with his life, made me hopeful and made me love Glee all the more. In a sense it was as if his character Finn wasn't much different from Cory, only we knew that Cory did find himself and what he loved to do. Now, its a different story. This interview is different.

Its a reminder that life is short and tenuous. That when opportunities come we need to seize them, hold them tight and as best as we can, not let go. That I need to cherish the blessings I have now as a wife, as a mother, as a friend because tomorrow is never guaranteed.

We will miss you Cory.