10 Confessions of a Desensitized Mother

I was thinking about it  and I realize with the first child you do everything by the book. Joey, till he was almost two, was practically confined to the 200 SF of space that was our living room. We had a huge baby fence that protected (caged) him from all the non baby friendly things. Dopple and Dreft was always just an arms reach away, lest bacteria touch our precious son's hand. Now that we have Kaitlyn we've certainly loosened up the reigns, but her insatiable desire to get into everything and destroy our house, has made me become very desensitized...numb, as a matter of fact. When I see my daughter drawing on the table with a crayon, if it was Joey at that age, like a bolt of lightening I would grab the utensil of destruction. If I saw him drawing on the wall I would want to pull out my hair. Now? I look over... it's just crayon, I can wipe it off later, it aint that bad... it's not say permanent marker all over the floor, which is something she has actually done. When I see my daughter grab my face lotion from my dresser, it aint that bad.. could be my wallet and every one of my credit cards spread across the far corners of my home, (which has happened on several occasions). I could be searching under the sofa for my Costco club card, so face lotion?? Wutever..over time you just get desensitized to it all.

So here are some of my confessions as to how I reacted to some of the things she did this past week:

1) When I saw her draw on the wall I thought "It must be Mural Wednesday!" unless it's Thursday.. in that case it's Mural Thursday.

2) I let her walk around with something on her head that I normally use to hold their bath supplies...

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Peek a Boo!

2) When she drew on the new desk furniture, I thought "Thank goodness it's not marker".

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3) When she opens the diaper bag, I'm just glad it's not my purse...

4) When she gathered our recyclables and put them on the coffee table I thought "At least it wasn't the trash."

5) When she gathered more stuff from around the house to add to her collection, I took a quick look and was glad there were no credit cards in that little blue basket.

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6) The oven is a mirror, who needs toys? (FYI it wasn't on)

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7) When she used my work notebook to draw. I was glad it wasn't the floor.

8) When she threw her mac and cheese on the floor, I was glad I skimped out on the cheese.

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9) I let her watch Frozen's Let It Go (from youtube) over and over again to keep her from destroying the house.

10) We brought them to McDonald's, past their bedtime, to have some ice cream and get this girl out of the house. Food is the only distraction for this girl.


Family

We are finally back in Hawaii after an arduous but somewhat tolerable trip on the plane, we are home. We've been resting. My daughter's skin that was constantly red, flaky and dry has magically turned back to one color, smooth, and healthy looking. My kids are no longer fighting me when I dress them, no more layers. It's back to shorts, crocs, and easy peezy wear. It's back to sun and being in temperature that feels just perfect for the human body. With all that said, to be honest I was pretty sad to come back. Don't get me wrong. I was dying for some sun and warmth but as we were getting ready to head back to Hawaii I realized I felt like it was too soon.

In previous trips back home we would spend so much quality time with close friends and family. Joe and I would be able to kick back and relax some nights while our parents would watch the kids. We would go to the City, have fun, meet with friends, reminisce, catch up, laugh, and eat. We would head back to Hawaii, renewed, refreshed, and ready to take on the world with two kids in tow. We didn't quite get our fill of such things because our circumstances were different this trip. However we did have a great trip and it was satisfying in a different way and it made it really hard to come back.

 It made me realize, now that our kids a bit older, and more aware of everything around them, vacation is no longer for us. Its about our kids. Its about our kids seeing their aunts/uncles/cousins and grandparents.  It's about our kids knowing that we traveled so far and went through so much to be around these people because they are very special. Its about re-experiencing things through the eyes of our children. Things like seeing my son's eye widen at the sight of snow after getting off the plane, and asking "Is that snow??" I realized that his most recent and only reference to snow is when he watched the movie Frozen. He would point to the snow and ask  "Frozen? Did Elsa make it? Where's the snowman? Can I touch it?? Is it an ice boulder (referencing the snow monster in the movie)?" He enjoyed playing in the snow with his grandmother, who supplied a full snow outfit. Watching him play and interact with his cousins and playing the part of older cousin, filled my heart with so much pride. Seeing my daughter shower her cousins with love and hugs made the trip unforgettable.

We lucked out on this trip. We got to be there for our nephew's first birthday (my husband's sister's son) and got to be there for our other nephew's 100 day (my brother's son). Despite the snow, the fatigue, and all the things that made this trip weary, to be able to be there for those special moments, that come only once in a baby's life made it all worth it. Through this trip, our kids know of their cousins, their aunts, uncles, and grandparents not as mere holiday picture cards, or fuzzy facetime images, but as real people that love and care for them, as people that they have hugged, kissed, laughed, and played with, people who showered them with gifts, as kin that prove that being parted my a continent and an ocean, is no match for the bond of love and family. Here are some pictures of our trip!

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all cousins nj trip 2_14,jpg
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My son the photo bomber...

My son the photo bomber...

Yun's with their kids!

Yun's with their kids!

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Dancing

Dancing

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Yun ladies!

Yun ladies!

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My brother in law the in-house photographer and my son the resident photo bomber.

My brother in law the in-house photographer and my son the resident photo bomber.

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My little man with his blackberry and suit.

My little man with his blackberry and suit.

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Yun Family Picure!

Yun Family Picure!

Kwon cousins! Watching and dancing to Frozen's Let it Go.

Kwon cousins! Watching and dancing to Frozen's Let it Go.

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Me and Zoie!

Me and Zoie!

Luke didn't care for the banana.

Luke didn't care for the banana.

Zoie didn't mind the first 3 hugs...

Zoie didn't mind the first 3 hugs...